36 Books for My 36th Birthday

This is my 7th year of birthday reading lists! (You can see the others here:  30 // 31 // 32 // 33 // 34 // 35). My top picks for this year are The Soul of Discipline, Okay for Now, Bandersnatch, Fertile Ground, The War that Saved My Life, Krakatoa, and The Body.

Adult Fiction

1. Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel. This post-apocalyptic book about a global pandemic that kills 99.99% of the earth’s population would NOT have been something I would have picked up later in the year, but it was one of the first books I read back in January 2020. It’s not my usual book, and while I appreciated it and thought it was really well done, still parts of it were too high tension for what I normally like to read. It did, however, give me the perspective that things could be considerably worse when it comes to a global pandemic!

2. Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry. This was a book club pick, and I thought it was just as great as the other Wendell Berry books I have read. And since before I read it, I wondered at the title if it were about some bird, Jayber is a nick name for the initial J, for the main character Jonas Crow. Jayber Crow is the barber of Port William, and the narrator for the story that sweeps his whole life from his parents dying early to the dying of the rural town’s way of life.  

3. Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens. This book had such a beautiful setting in the wetlands of North Carolina. It was also extremely sad; one of Evan’s friends said it should be called “Where the Crawdads Cry,” and I think that she was on to something. It has a murder mystery aspect of it, and despite my consistent trying, I just can’t get past the murder part of murder mysteries. Without giving anything away, I didn’t really like the very ending of the book, which had it been different, probably would have made me remember the whole thing a lot more rosily. But I don’t think everyone would be put off by the ending (obviously it’s an extremely popular book!) and the natural history and the relationship between Kai and Tate was beautiful.

4. One in A Million Boy by Monica Wood. This book has a lot of very fun characters and Guinness Book record facts as the main characters make sense of an eleven-year-old boy unexpectedly dying.  It centers on 104-year-old Ona Vitkus who had been the last scouting project of the boy and his divorced parents.  The boy was obsessed with Guinness Book records, and convinced Ona that as a 104-year-old Lithuanian immigrant she could reach some records.  The book flips from interviews the boy did with Ona for school and after his death his father helping Ona with her quests.  The book has a great ending, which made me love it all the more.

5. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. This classic book was a book club pick (as you might guess, this book club did not continue through the whole year), and the first time I read it. Reading Jane Eyre is worth the effort if for nothing else to now pick up the Jane Eyre references scattered about me all the time. They are everywhere. Overall, I liked it, but didn’t love it as much as when I finally read Pride and Prejudice (which is also the story of me reading Sense and Sensibility for the first time this year). Although, I’m so glad (spoiler alert for a book that came out in 1847) Jane didn’t end up with St. John Rivers; he was the worst. I think that Mr. Rochester had to go through some awfully harsh redemption before he was worthy of Jane, but then again I was pretty happy with the ending all things considered, which as you know, I think makes a book.

6. Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset, translated by Tiina Nunnally, read by Erin Bennett (The Wreath, The Wife, The Cross). This is a huge book; actually, it’s three large books. It’s an epic and it’s incredible. The detail, the research, and the setting are all just amazing. Medieval Catholic Norway is portrayed so vividly in this book, which is why it won the 1928 Nobel Prize for literature. Kristin as a character, however, makes pretty much terrible choices most of the time, which drives the plot, but was kind of frustrating as a reader to watch her continue to make and deal with not great choices mainly in choice of and relationship with her husband. So buckle up for a good amount of sadness, in a beautiful setting, for a very long time.  I listened to the 45-hour audio book.

7. Anne’s House of Dreams by L.M. Montgomery. This Anne of Green Gables book about Anne and Gilbert’s first year of marriage was the Anne book I had never read. I reread the first three books this fall, because this fall needed some comfort re-reads. I couldn’t remember how far I had gotten in the series as a child, which evidently wasn’t that far, because I still have over half of the Anne books to read. Lucky me! This one has all the wonderful characters and redemption of seemingly hopeless romantic relationships you could want.

8. Where’d You Go, Bernadette: A Novel by Maria Semple. This quirky novel about brilliant but anxiety-ridden agoraphobic architect Bernadette Fox who goes missing before a family trip to Antarctica, is told through the lens of her daughter Bee and the documents–emails, memos, transcripts–that Bee is using to try and track down her mother. The parts that stuck with me the most were reflections on the need to make art, and the particular abilities artists have within their limitations to make unique and important contributions in the world.  Also, it makes going to Antarctica sound amazing.

9. Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie and illustrated by Ellen Forney. This book seems like a middle grade book, but I would argue pretty strongly is a YA book. As a YA book, the language (and there is lot of it) and the rough content make for a really important look at Native American life, reservations, alcoholism, limited educational opportunities, as well as physical disabilities.  It’s such a well-done book, with great drawings and stories and redemption in the midst of a lot of heartache. It’s just not a book for young readers.

Middle Grade Fiction

10. Sweep: The Story of a Girl and Her Monster by Jonathan Auxier. This masterful middle grade novel centers on orphaned Nan Sparrow, a chimney sweep who is on cusp of becoming too big to climb through the narrow network of flues and chimneys in London, and a golem come to life from a lump of coal left by her guardian. It is a sad but very beautiful meditation on friendship and sacrifice. And of course there really were children doing that kind of work, and as an adult pausing to think about the horrors of child labor past and present, makes the impact of this book all the stronger.

11. Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Lai. Based on the author’s childhood experience, this verse novel is set in the 1970s when ten year old Hà leaves Saigon with her mother and three older brothers as the Vietnam War reaches her home. America is difficult to understand and most people in the small Alabama town are not very welcoming. School is difficult without any English to help her navigate and anti-Vietnamese sentiments running high. Hà finds her footing in the end, and the book ends with a lot of hope in the midst of hard things. I enjoyed the detailed observations of American culture from a foreign observer as well as learning about Vietnam and its culture.

12. The War that Saved My Life (The War I Finally Won) by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley. This book had such a strong main character with such a distinct voice and perspective on the world. I really enjoyed reading these books, and I was sad that there wasn’t a third one. As an adult reader I thought her handling issues of homosexuality and religion was fairly sensitive and historically accurate, but I’m not sure how a young reader would pick up on those themes. I think some families wouldn’t have an issue with it, and some would want parents to preview the book before handing it to a younger reader (and there is some child abuse that might be too much for sensitive kids as well).

13. One Crazy Summer by Rita Williams-Garcia. Three sisters head across the country to California in 1968 to spend a few weeks with their estranged poet mother who is neither particularly happy they are there nor particularly interested in being their mother. But they learn a bit about her world with the Black Panthers. A moving and funny book that seems more timely now than when it was published in 2011. A great introduction to kids about issues of race and activism.

14. The Search for Wondla written and illustrated by Tony DiTerlizzi. In this sci-fi almost graphic novel, in a future in which the earth has been ruined and only a few humans are being grown in secret underground labs, Eva 9 and her caregiving mother robot MUTHR leave the shelter of their ruined underground sanctuary to explore with their reluctant alien guide Rovender. It has a Star Wars feel, and while the audio book was very well done, I think it’s best enjoyed in its paper form so you can see all the amazing illustrations, like I did for the second two books in the trilogy: A Hero for Wondla and The Battle for Wondla.

15. Okay for Now by Gary D. Schmidt. A sequel of sorts (although the two novels stand alone and you could start with either) to the wonderful book Wednesday Wars, this book follows eighth grader Doug Swieteck in 1968 as he moves upstate with his abusive father, bully of a brother, and sad mother who is missing her oldest son who is serving in Vietnam. The book is hard and sad at times and equally beautiful and redemptive at others. It weaves themes of grace and second chances with lessons on visual art composition, John James Audubon birds, and Jane Eyre. Gary Schmidt is so good.

Non-Fiction

16. Ballad of the Whiskey Robber: A True Story of Bank Heists, Ice Hockey, Transylvanian Pelt Smuggling, Moonlighting Detectives, and Broken Hearts by Julian Rubinstein (ensemble cast audio version). This is an amazing audiobook experience that reminds me now a bit of high-end limited run podcasts: it’s a true story with lots of twists and turns and a big cast of characters. The setting of late Cold War Budapest, Hungary as Communism was ending and bank security was still pretty limited make it ripe for the crazy antics of a desperate, whiskey-loving semiprofessional ice hockey player turned bank robber Attila Ambrus.

17. Becoming Dr. Seuss: Theodor Geisel and the Making of an American Imagination by Brian Jay Jones. This book was sent to me by Evan’s grandma, and it was so interesting. I learned a lot not only about Ted Geisel, Dr. Seuss, but also about the development of children’s books and readers in the mid-twentieth century, which I thought was fascinating.  I will say that Ted Geisel wasn’t a saint, so if reading about the scandals of a beloved children’s writer isn’t something you want to do, then you might not want to read the second half of the book.  I’m glad that I read it, and I appreciate all the genius and artistry of the many Dr. Seuss and other early readers scattered about our house.

18. Bandersnatch: C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and the Creative Collaboration of the Inklings by Diana Pavlac Glyer. This book was so wonderful, all about the Inklings’ friendship and working relationship as writers who critiqued and encouraged each other’s writings. This book is the less academic, more public version of her dissertation, but you can tell that the author has done a tremendous amount of research and digging through correspondence and drafts of works. I particularly appreciated her discussion of JRR Tolkien’s feelings about CS Lewis’s Narnia, putting in perspective Tolkien’s lack of affection for my very favorite books into the broader context of their friendship and working relationship. (And how later Tolkien did recommend in a letter that a young reader pick up Narnia).

19. The Wand in the Word: Conversations with the Writers of Fantasy edited by Leonard Marcus. This book gathers interviews from a dozen writers the generation (or two) after the Inklings. Although, nearly everyone has something to say about reading Tolkien. A few years ago, I read Leonard Marcus’ longer work on Madeline L’Engle, which was excellent, and I enjoyed reading these shorter interviews just as much. There is a lot of variety in the stories and styles of the interviewed writers (both in their interviews as well as their published works). I particularly enjoyed reading Redwall author Brian Jacques’ interview; you could tell that he loved to tell stories and had a life just chalk full of them.

20. Krakatoa: The Day the World Exploded: August 27, 1883 by Simon Winchester. With a background in journalism and geology, Simon Winchester makes learning about a Volcano (or an earthquake in his other book I read this year A Crack in the Edge of the World: America and the Great California Earthquake of 1906) surprisingly delightful. Krakatoa is a volcano situated in the Sunda Strait between the islands of Java and Sumatra, which puts it at the crossroads of a tectonic plate and vast amount of east – west trading. And its eruption had impacts all around the globe. His style reminds me a bit of Bill Bryson’s, and I am looking forward to having Simon Winchester teach me about various other geological things in the years to come. He is also an excellent narrator for his audiobooks.

21. The Body: A Guide for Occupants by Bill Bryson. I love Bill Bryson, particularly when he’s doing research, so I loved this book. It’s fascinating and readable, full of incredible facts about various systems and components of the body but at the same time so fun and punctuated by anecdotes and history. The audiobook is narrated by him, and he’s a great narrator.   I was just so sad that it was over, and sad that Bill Bryson does not have any other books he’s currently working on (playing around with the idea of retirement.) Don’t’ do it Bill! I need more Bill Bryson! books!

22. Paul: A Biography by NT Wright. NT (I’ll resist the urge to call him Tom, as some folks we know who have met him do) Wright sets what we know about apostle and saint Paul from Acts and Paul’s letters into his general historical context, highlighting how thinking of Paul in a wholistic way as a devout Jew illuminates points of his writing, especially his road to Damascus experience. I listened to it on audiobook, but I think that perhaps reading it with the ability to re-read and make notes would have been a better experience. It was a bit dense at times, and other times I felt a little lost on the chronology, but I also respected that NT Wright was pretty devoted to only explaining what we know from the texts, and there are gaps and overlaps which make writing a biography challenging. I think I’ll return to this one over time, and I’d like to read it next to Walter Wangerin Jr.’s novel Paul which takes a lot more creative license in flushing out the story of this important apostle (yes, that’s an understatement).

Parenting

23. The Parent You Want to Be: Who You Are Matters More Than What You Do
by Les Parrott and Leslie Parrott. I really like Les and Leslie Parrott and I was impressed by the power of this little book to be so thought provoking. While citing important research, like the ways to praise effort over achievement, the book also manages to really not take too many sides in parenting approaches. I think that Christians who have a variety of parenting backgrounds would appreciate this book that talks about the important characteristics of parents who encourage and show up, who celebrate, and are trustworthy. I think it’s worth a re-read every couple of years.

24. The Soul of Discipline: The Simplicity Parenting Approach to Warm, Firm, and Calm Guidance- From Toddlers to Teens by Kim John Payne. This book is one of my very favorite parenting books. I loved his first book, Simplicity Parenting too, and this one is more practical. I think the best contribution this book makes is that Payne breaks down parenting into three main phases: Governor (the little years), Gardener (the middle years) and Guide (the later years), which helps to sort out many other seemingly conflicting parenting pieces of advice about how much structure and control you should have for and over your children. I just wanted the section of the little years, where we are, to be longer because all the things he talked about and the suggestions he gave were so great.

25. Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler: Tackling These Crazy Awesome Years―No Time-outs Needed by Jamie Glowacki. I really liked Jamie Glowacki’s book on potty training, and I enjoyed this one as well. I wish that I had been able to read it before Jackson turned 3, because that was a rough transition for everyone. I will say that going in knowing her approach and background (she was in the circus) meant that I could take what I liked from the book and not worry about doing everything she thought. I think the one thing the book doesn’t really cover much is sibling relationships between toddlers. (The main reason for this is that Jamie Glowacki has just one child, but also in thinking about how to talk about my own kids’ relationship, they change so much from one month to the next that it’s hard to capture that kind of constant change. I also read Siblings Without Rivalry this year, which was helpful in thinking big picture about sibling relationships, but didn’t have a lot of specifics about toddlers. Toddler sibling relationships need a decent book!) But overall, I think this is definitely worth the read if you have or especially are about to have a toddler.

Memoir

26. The Lazy Genius Way: Embrace What Matters, Ditch What Doesn’t, and Get Stuff Done by Kendra Adachi. This book has some really great principles for approaching your life. Don’t let the word lazy bother you, and I know it bothers some people; it’s about being smart about what matters and letting go of what doesn’t matter to YOU. I happen to have a pretty similar temperament to Kendra (we are both 1s on the Enneagram, and have birthdays on Dec 27^th; clearly if we ever meet we’d be super close friends) so a lot of her struggles and strengths resonated with me, but I think that a lot of people would benefit from her approach. Plus, she has a lot of really smart practical tips on things like cleaning the bathroom (dust first!) or cleaning the kitchen (zones!) or conquering paper clutter.

27. Don’t Overthink It by Anne Bogel. I love Anne Bogel, and not a few books on this list are there because of her fantastic recommendations over at her blog and on her podcast. I’ll admit that since I’m not a chronic-overthinker I didn’t think this book was going to be especially for me. But I gave it to my mom for Mothers’ Day, who has the same Myers Briggs (INFP) & Enneagram (9) as Anne Bogel, thinking that she might pick up some tips. My mom finished it, and gave it back so I got to read it. (One of the many things I love about my mother is her willingness to read books I recommend and her generosity with books when she’s done.) And I really enjoyed reading the book! Of course anxiety can make anyone a bit paralyzed and prone to rumination, so many of the stories and strategies in the book apply to all the temperaments.

28. The Middle Matters: Why That (Extra)Ordinary Life Looks Really Good on You by Lisa-Jo Baker. I’m a big fan of Lisa-Jo Baker, and I think this collection of essays is a great way to jump in and get to know her. As a wise mom about a decade in front of me, I loved peeking into Lisa-Jo’s life with bigger kids as she talks about making peace with your body, your marriage, your friendships, and your mothering. Funny and thoughtful and devotional at various times, I’m so glad that Lisa-Jo is such a vulnerable and generous sharer of the beautiful and difficult parts of her life.

29. Placemaker: Cultivating Places of Comfort, Beauty, and Peace by Christie Purifoy. My mother gave me this book after she read it, with the glowing recommendation that I’d love all the bits about trees. And I did. Although, I have to say that I started the first chapter, got distracted and set aside the book for a few months, and then in the mean time discovered the Out of the Ordinary Podcast which Christie Purifoy along with Lisa-Jo Baker started. So then, after I got to know Christie’s voice on the podcast, I went back and devoured Placemaker and her first book Roots & Sky . I think if you are a more logical and story focused reader (as opposed to a more poetic and lyrical one) starting with her first book might give you a more chronological framework for the second. But I love Christie’s voice (both in text and on the podcast) and I am looking forward to reading more of her work.

30. What the heart already knows: Stories of Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany by Phyllis Tickle. Recommended by Christie Purfoy on the Out of the Ordinary Podcast, this is such a delightful book for Advent and Christmastide, with devotional reflections for each Sunday and a few extra saints’ days thrown in. Written in 1985, it reminds me a lot of Madeline L’Engle’s non-fiction writing, only more kids and more farm. For morning prayer time, I have been using Phyllis Tickle’s Divine Hours that she compiled, and as my advent devotion, I added noonday prayer as well. The two books work really well together. I’m looking forward to reading more of her works.

31. Shalom Sistas: Living Wholeheartedly in a Brokenhearted World by Osheta Moore. I have heard great things about this book for a couple years and was delighted that our library had a copy. I think that Osheta Moore is such a fun and thoughtful voice advocating for shalom or peace-building work in our everyday lives, especially as mothers. And since she wrote the book as a mother of older children, reflecting back on having younger (including Irish twins!) children, it felt like a mothering mentor giving me sage advice. I’m glad that she has another book and a deep archives of blog posts and podcast episodes for me to enjoy.

32. Fertile Ground: A Pilgrimage through Pregnancy by Laura S. Jansson. As friend of a friend, I got a copy of Fertile Ground to review before its publication. And even though I wasn’t pregnant while I read it, it was one of the very best books I read this year. It’s so thoughtful and deep and wonderful. I think it’s especially rich for mothers the second or third (or more!) time around after you’ve really read a bunch of practical pregnancy books, and want something to encourage you on the path. Or you don’t have to be pregnant to appreciate it! Since I have Orthodox family members, I particularly appreciated her perspective as an Eastern Orthodox woman, along with her perspective as a doula and mother. I hope that she writes more.

33. Wearing God: Clothing, Laughter, Fire, and Other Overlooked Ways of Meeting God by Lauren F. Winner. I love all Lauren Winner books, and while I will give the caveat that she is more theologically liberal than myself, I did really like this book. I think especially paired with all the listening of the Bible Project Podcast I’ve done this year, I was interested in all the ways that she pulled out unusual and overlooked metaphors that the Bible uses to describe God. I particularly liked all the imagery of the laboring woman in transition saying that she cannot go on as a way to look at the Garden of Gethsemane.

34. Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants by Robin Wall Kimmerer. This book is such a unique mixture of biology, native American ways of knowing, and philosophical reflections and memoir. I loved listening to Robin Wall Kimmerer read it on audiobook. I also especially enjoyed that the biological area she was talking about is the Great Lakes region, which meant that I was able to recognize many of her topics, such as cattails or ash trees or lichens.

35. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi I thought this book was an excellent companion to the book Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande which I read last year and really enjoyed. Paul Kalanithi is a young, promising surgeon just about to finish his prestigious residency when he is diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. This is history as he comes to the last years of his life, discovering how to find what matters as his condition changes. His wife finishes the end of the book after Paul’s death. It’s so well written, and such a gift to leave behind for us to ponder how we too have to decide what is important each day and season based on what’s in front of us. I found that his writing about being in the hospital reminded me a great deal of my experiences delivering my babies in hospital, and how closely-tied the experience of giving birth (ironically) is to the experience of dying.

Comedy

36. Food: A Love Story by Jim Gaffigan. Read by the author, this book is like listening to 7 hours of his standup comedy, which I love. And even though I’m pretty much all in on eating healthy all the time, there is something so funny about Jim Gaffigan making fun of Kale or waxing on about McDonalds. The only trouble is I’d listen to it while trying to get Lily to sleep and sometimes it’d be impossible not to laugh aloud and wake her up. I hope that Gaffigan is able to write another book soon (I loved Dad is Fat), because they are such a joy.

What were your favorite reads of 2020?

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