We hosted exactly two birthday parties in our 728 square-foot home before saying we’d never do that again. The first one was fine, it had 2 two-year-old toddlers and 7 adults. That was a good ratio.
But buoyed by that success, we got overly ambitious. The second party had 6 toddlers and 3 babies and 8 adults.
The first half of the party was lovely, but then our toddler threw a metal fork across the room, then he hit a child, and then he got his hand shut in a door during a rather unsuccessful time out, and he ended the party by running into a support beam in our basement chipping two teeth. “Welcome to three,” my friend Gwendolyn said. And it was true, three started out with bang and was tough all the way through.
So we gave up on home-birthday parties, and we just had family-only celebrations in the years to come. Those years also corresponded to the covid years, so many people weren’t having big indoor celebrations anyway. (And it’s ok to just have family birthday parties! They are great!)
But when the kids started school three years ago, they began getting invited to really fun trampoline/gymnastics/bouncy house/skating birthday parties. (Oddly enough, nearly all the birthday parties were in September. We started school and immediately were flooded with birthday invitations, especially remarkable for rather small class sizes.)
But I didn’t know what to do for our children’s birthdays. We didn’t have the budget for a big birthday party at a trampoline park. We didn’t have the house to host in indoor birthday party and invite a whole (even rather small) class when the weather in November in Wisconsin isn’t reliable to be outside.
Then the week before Jackson’s 7th birthday, I listened to a podcast episode by Katy Bowman (#140 CELEBRATE! 11 Steps to Cozy, Joyful & Dynamic Holidays) where she talked about all sorts of different ideas about hikes and kids and celebrations. And knowing that although it was Thanksgiving weekend, and I was giving people almost no time, I emailed a bunch of people from church and school and the soccer team and said we’d meet at a great local state park to hike and celebrate Jackson’s birthday and I’d make cookies.
Since it was so last minute, and because people have to pay for a state park entrance fee (if they didn’t already have a pass) I said it was a “no-present party.” We invited probably nearly 25 families, knowing that many people weren’t going to be able to make it. But we still had at least 30 people come. And it was a lot of fun!
Since then we’ve done four more hiking parties! Three for Jackson in November and two for Lily in May. One year it snowed (the Thanksgiving one, not May, but it does sometimes snow in May here), but for the most part we’ve had good weather for hiking. It’s become a tradition!
We hike about two miles. It’s remarkable that kids who would complain about that length of a hike if done with their families, just run around with their friends and don’t seem to notice the distance. There is a noticeable lack of complaining about walking for the kids who are there with their friends. (This, Katy Bowman told me would happen.)
We make a little stop at the butterfly garden, which is almost never in the right season for butterflies (or the plants that attract them) but everyone loves the little path anyways.
One year a dad picked up a snake, and it was the highlight of the party. We all learned firsthand about the smell reptiles give off when stressed.
Another year it was the first snow of the year, and there was a fun snowball fight.
We hike to an observation tower, and then hike back (the shorter way) to the parking lot and have cookies at some picnic tables by the parking lot. The path we pick is fairly stroller friendly, at least most of it, until you get to right by the observation tower.
The observation tower also has a parking lot, so if people need to leave early, it’s fairly easy to do that. We’re never deep into the woods.
The kids love the observation tower. Having a fun destination gives the hike some shape and a goal. And then when they come down it’s a quick walk back to cookies. One five-year-old told me, “This was the best party ever. I climbed a mountain!”
I make gluten-free cashew cookies (recipe below). We keep them in the car, and run and grab them when we get back to the parking lot. I think you could reserve the pavilion, but we haven’t ever had anyone else there. There are lots of uncovered picnic tables near by, and we could eat on the grass if needed. I put the cookies in ziplock bags, and have some hand sanitizer and have a roll of paper towels on hand when I hand them out. But I also bring some Made Good Allergy-Free cookies for those who can’t do eggs and nuts. Everyone has their water bottles for the hike, so I although we always say it would be nice to buy those half-size water bottles, we have never actually done it and everyone just drinks their own water.
Finally, we sing happy birthday.
The whole thing takes between an hour and half and two hours. Most people follow the no presents suggestion, but a few give presents anyways. (Again, I’m not anti-presents, I just feel like if people have to pay to get into the park, that’s their financial contribution to the party. One year, we tried to move the party to a free non-state park location, but since it’s deer hunting season here in Wisconsin, that wasn’t the safest option, and we ended up moving it back to the state park.) About half the people bring cards. But the friends and the cookies are the part that my kids love, and the couple of bonus presents and cards make it extra special for the drive home.
But really, while kids love to open presents, a few weeks later, what they tend to remember is the joy of lots of friends coming to their party.
Personally, I love the party since I get to walk. It’s fun to have a wide range of ages from toddlers in our church group all the way up to grandmas who graciously bring their grandkids to the party. We usually have a great mixture of family, church, and school friends there.
For invitations, I tend to just send a big bcc email to everyone. Although this year made me think that it’s worthwhile to send paper invitations to school along with the email, just in case parents who are a little overwhelmed with emails don’t miss the email resulting in their child thinking that he or she was the only one not invited.
A hiking party and homemade cookies have been exactly what we’ve needed, and so far no one has chipped any teeth, so that’s a successful party in our books! (That’s the upside of having such a disastrous birthday party, everything else after seems awesome.)
Cashew Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe (Gluten-Free)
1 1/2 cups ground cashews
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) soften salted butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 cups cassava flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups Chocolate Chips
Grind the cashews in a food processor for two minutes. Add butter and sugar and eggs to food processor. Then add dry ingredients. Finally, mix in the chocolate chips. Form the desired cookie size by hand, flatten the cookies into a hockey-puck shape (they will not flatten out on their own like). Bake at 350 for 18-20 or until brown.
How do you celebrate birthdays in your family? What are simple traditions that make the day special?